So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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