this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
