You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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