I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
