: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
