i think my tv is drunk
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
