: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
3 2 1 whiskey
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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