I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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