oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
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Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
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Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize