Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
