My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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