dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
