'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
