help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
