ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
i've created a new STD.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Randomize
