So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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