Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
