I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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