i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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