So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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