If i come over, it means nothing
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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