are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
