ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
we're chasing vodka with high fives
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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