Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
my liver is dry heaving
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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