omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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