So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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