I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize