He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
