I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
