he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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