Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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