i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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