your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
