No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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