U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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