never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
PANTIES FOUND
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