Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
