nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
