Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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