just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
So many bounce houses so little time
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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