i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
