Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
