Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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