I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
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