Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
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She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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