Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
