So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
