normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
