Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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