So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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