Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I wish i was in the wii world.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
