Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
