I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
