He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Small penises have feelings too.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
