my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
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He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
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is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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