I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
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