how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
