:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
