My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
