That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
