Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
