His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
