When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
