Just cropdusted the office
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
You can't just leave with hair like that
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I have fence marks all over my body
Randomize
