How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
