tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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