i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
