Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
