i don't like sucking hair
Plan B is the new Plan A
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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