she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize