Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
